The Scales of Justice

The Hangover

I’m a little hazy on the details of the past couple days. My head is killing me, and i’m in a hut made by some chick with horns and I got hammered with a monk last night. Note to self: I think that guys got a problem. I know I’m hungover but what the hell happened to that guy with the penis face? He seems to have just disappeared. Then there was that other Rogue…Doc McStabbins or something like that (I’m starting to think thats not his real name) At first I thought he was just dressed up as the horny chick but she started doing some crazy magic. And why the F*%* does she abbrev everything? Damn, now I’m doing it! Note to self: try and bang that chick. Also, where did that other dwarf go? I need a place to rest my balls. How about that, I actually miss that piece of garbage. Maybe all dwarves aren’t so bad.

Moving on… Our new little party has followed some ancient dwarf king with no sense of humor down a pit to gods know where. I’m hoping these little bastards can lead me to Zucco. It seems like he’s somehow involved in all this trouble. It doesn’t surprise me but I have t make sure I get to him first and make him pay. One more thing… I have this weird memory of shooting some demon frog. Did that really happen or does this monk just have some really good booze.

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So many brethren....covered in the blood of War....- Rigmor Talonbeard
A dwarf is a dwarf, of course, of course

Many were lost.

I did what I could. Working as a tool of the almighty Reorx, I did what I could to get what Dwarven battle brothers still had the breath of life within them to their feet, so that they might rejoin this battle against evil. An evil force indeed. What could it want with this Kingdom though? What is its purpose to besiege the stoneforged walls of Thoradin? Upon King Severus’ request, I intend to find out. I will fight to help my fellow race, no matter what reach of land they hail from.

We have found some lead in a curious encounter. After rescuing a dwarven lass named Prucilik, we have found that she is the kin, very likely the last, of the Stonewardens. The Stonewardens are a long line sworn to protect some family heirloom of seemingly incredible interest to these demons that plague the deep ruins beneath the kingdom. To further add to this unusual journey, the apparition of her legendary ancestor, Thane Beowulf, stands at our side. His insight and knowledge, while certainly unorthodox in form, will certainly be a boon to our party’s intent to see this through.

As we travel far below the bowels of the city, I can tell that we have quite an uphill struggle before us. We shall fight till death though. I swear on my honour as a priest of War, the enemies of Thoradin are now my own enemies. Foes of the Stonewardens will answer to the just hammer of Rigmor Talonbeard!

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New solution to a old problem

Helping people hasn’t always come easy for me. One would think spending years calling a monastery home that helping others would be second nature. But when I saw the smoke funneling up towards the sky it reminded me of the day…THE DAY that everything changed for me… and with that I knew this could not be ignored.

As my friend Unitorn and myself made it to the top of the mountain just outside of the gates to the Dwarven City we saw a group of people standing in awe. Upon a quick introduction everybody got to work, with Unitorn singing to help those hurt and myself denying any foul beast with air in its lungs a chance at continuing this assault.

I saw a human (Grayson) with a bow firing arrows at some creatures that were stuck under rocks and for a moment was admiring the skill in which he shot with, hopefully after this I can sit down and have a conversation with him.

After we had finished outside the gates the King of this city asked for our help in clearing the city of any enemies and offering assistance to any citizens still alive. I thought to myself “I’m already in waist deep water so I may as well continue to the other side.”

The group and I walked down a corridor and to our horror saw a young girl restrained to a table with four creatures surrounding her. It was us that stuck first as the human archer and myself fired arrows at the more humanish looking being. Then in disbelief saw one of the winged creatures fly directly through a rock wall!

The creature had attempted to attack us from the rear but was met with a thunderous wave from Unitorn that knocked the beast back and despite its attempts to hide in the shadows was ultimately slain by all of us.

Once we had cleared the area we released the girl and restrained the one human with two arrows sticking out of him to the table. That is when things got strange as a spirit from beyond appeared and asked for our help again (Dwarves needing help is a reoccurring theme so far.)

As he seeming floated down a cylinder shaped hole in the floor the group followed suit, and as I took a closer look it this hole has invisible steps leading down. As I “float” down this cylinder shaped cavern I can’t help but wonder if I have had the sun kiss my face for the last time.

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You Owe Me A Pint

Elrithian Valenwood took us into his family grove and assured us that it would be very difficult for the giant army to find us. I was and still am leery about putting my trust in an elf, but considering the alternative there is not much choice. The army of ogres, giants, and owlbears would be too much for this party to handle. It felt good to finally get some rest before being startled by the elf rushing in to let us know that there was possibly an ogre and an ettin walking towards the grove. As we prepared ourselves for battle Toren decided to bet me a pint that he would take the first enemy down. I took that bet. As everyone got into position I took my place in front of King Severus in order to keep him protected. Suddenly a blast from a fireball hit directly in front of me hitting myself, the king, and Ragnar. Knowing that a pint was riding on it I decided to sprint in and take down the ettin with four swift slashes of my sword. I don’t even think he knew what hit him. I sprinted after the invisible enemy as did the rest of the group. As we neared the river I saw a giant splash. Assuming the position of the enemy I grabbed my last javelin and threw it hitting what turned out to be a necromancer. The bastard was dead and we were finally able to finish our resting. Elrithian sent us back to Thorbardin using a windwalk spell. Unfortunately, Thorbardin appears to have succumbed to the chaos of the giant/ogre/necromancer army. The only question that remains at this point is, when do I get my pint?
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Shit just got weird

Fucking Dwarves! No sense of humor on these guys. I thought that things couldn’t get any weirder after going to hell. Boy was I wrong. We all agree to escort this pint size king back to the lollypop guild. First we run into a massive hill giant. The guy that looks like a giant penis decides he wants to eat a rock for breakfast…wonderful. Those of us with skill easily take down stompy and move on. I scout ahead, mainly because the rest of them are incompetent. There’s like 10 Owl-bears! Once I rejoin my group I try to explain that these hideous monsters resemble the Dwarves wife. You know, just to give them a frame of reference for how ugly the Owl-bears are. This stubby prick punches me right in the mouth. I’ll get him back soon, it wasn’t the time with all the monsters chasing us and shit. Here is where shit gets weird. We find a secret cave to hide from all the crazies. Down a long set of stairs we find a boat and a stream that leads down a dark tunnel. Lets all hang on outside the boat! We must protect the King! Horseshit! Anyway, we take a nice long ride down the ice cold river then we see the light at the end of the…WATERFALL! Then this dwarf asshat decides to try and save himself and the king. The rest of us float out over the falls and hang there. Weird shit! But wa wa wait it gets worse! This dwarf tries to throw his king onto the boat, and misses. We all tried to catch the King (I gave a very half-assed effort) but he starts plummeting to his death. Then dumb shit decides he’s going to leap off the waterfall and break the kings fall. Good riddance. It’s at this time that the boat starts slowly lowering down to the ground. Unfortunately both dwarves survived the fall. Then, out of nowhere the giant turtle I saw earlier comes back. And it transformed into an elf druid…WTF! I thought life in the circus was strange.

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We Be Travelin

Finally out of hell and on the road again. We’re on our way south with King Severus and we stumble on this hill giant. He’s not too happy, but everything turns out perfect besides one of our guys getting pummeled by a rock. As we venture further south we came upon some ogres and owlbears. Man those things are fugly. Rather than take our chances in a fight we decide to take off into the forest which wasn’t really what we had planned. It seems like plans always get messed up with these guys. We find this lever behind this rock and escape down into this cave. I had an eerie feeling about this place when I saw a small stream and boat sitting at the bottom of the cave. We all decide to hang onto this boat and take off through the tunnel. As we’re nearing the end of the tunnel everyone starts panicking because it seems like a huge drop. Suddenly we are floating in the air falling gently down to the ground while King Severus takes a plunge because of the other jackass dwarf trying to be a hero. As we get to the bottom a turtle is sitting there and transforms into an elf. Great! From hell to the elves. This sucks.

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I'm having trouble remembering

So we spent some time in hell…that was fun. I’m having trouble remembering exactly what happened. I know I stabbed some invisible chick. Then she helped us get over the wall before the demon hordes attacked so there’s that. The god damn dwarf almost didn’t make it over. I have to say a tiny… a large piece of me wanted that stubby fuck to not make it over with us.

I vaguely remember Righty …dressing up like an imp? Something like that. He grabbed some rod that teleported us out of hell with a chest full of goodies. Its all kind of hazy. Its almost like this all happened 6 months ago. Weird, I don’t know where to go from here.

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We're finally home...

We met this girl who was able to get us over the wall using her cloaking device. Fortunate for us she came at the right time as the demons attacked the wall. Besides me being a clumsy son of a bitch we actually made it to this underground meeting ground. To my surprise Steward Dotson is sitting in the middle of all these devils and suddenly disappears. I knew there was something strange about that guy. Righty McStabbins was able to get to a sceptor and activate it as we were fighting bearded devils. Fortunately Righty was able to get the sceptor working right as a Pit Fiend came in to kick our asses. It worked…we’re back home and somewhere in Solamnia. Best part is we got this chest with tons of good treasure. Bad news is the Dark Knights have formed some type of alliance with the devils. Now to find that little bitch Brent so I can kill him.

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Son of a ...

I should have left when I had the chance. I got the information I needed on Zucco and I could have slipped out unnoticed. But no…I have to try and help out. Then, I could have taken off during all the confusion of the battle. It was clear that we were going to win, they didn’t need me anymore. Then the guy with a head that looks like a cock goes down and I have to play the hero and help him out. Next thing I know I’ve literally slipped into the seventh circle of HELL! I have to make it out of here alive so that Zucco can feel the wrath of my balls on his chin…before I kill him slowly.

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Ah hell!!!

So the battle couldn’t have went any better as we defended the King Severus. We kicked some ass. Unfortunately these little pit fiend fuckers decided it was a cool thing to send us into the first layer of hell. Who the hell do they think they are?!! In a way I’m kind of glad we were taken to this place. I don’t know how much more we all would have been able to handle. Better being alive and in hell than six feet under I guess. Wait a second, are we alive still?

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