The Scales of Justice

Entry 69
Teabagging Son of a Bitch

I still have those visions of that day. Coming back home to the unexpected rubble. Out of everything I had ever seen on the battlefields this was the worst. It’s been a long time since that day, but I’m not giving up. Today I reached my destination, the town of Pashin. I heard that the town was run by the bastard dark knights and I intended to get more information. I was in the center of town when I suddenly hear this dark knight screaming at these two Kendors. Then out of the corner of my eye I witness this ugly ass fucker (no really, he looked like a big dick) bump into the dark knight. Immediately I go to tap the ugly fuck on the shoulder and the piece of shit just keeps walking. It was at this moment that I hear screams and I turn to see the dark knight yelling in pain with a knife sticking out of his back. I see another dark knight coming to the aid of the injured one and suddenly a halfling steps out, but the dumb shit misses the dark knight. It was at this point that I decided to crush some skull and put my warhammer right through this dark knight. We escaped further confrontation by following the Kendor back to an inn within the town. We discussed the resistance in town and I was introduced to the owner of that knife that landed in the back of the dark knight earlier. I’m not sure how I feel about this guy. One thing I do know is he doesn’t like his beer getting touched, sensitive fucker. I’m trying to rest and this douche thinks he’s going to get away with dipping his tiny ass nuts in my mouth. Asshole must have thought I was sleeping. Took him awhile to wake up after I knocked him out. Needless to say I’m not a big fan of this guy and he’ll eventually taste sweaty dwarven nuts at some point.

I met another dwarf at the inn named Flint who was able to give me a letter from the King of Thorbardin. Hopefully, this will help in my journey.

We got back to the bar in town and listened to the herald speak when a huge brawl breaks out. This is when we see this dark knight Pegrin who the group decides to follow. As were following this guy we wind up witnessing a few dark knights and Pegrin interrogate a Kendor and cut his hand off for stealing something. Of course the ugly fuck (yea the guy who literally looks like a dick) from earlier in the day gives away our position and Pegrin notices that we’re watching.

Later that night we made our way to the dark knight camp which sits just outside the town. Well, all the shit hits the fan when the ugly fuck decides to get caught again and gives away our cover. Needless to say we took care of business and killed all the dark knights in the camp except for one. I have a feeling that may cause us some problems. A little pissed that I didn’t get any more information, but there was no time to interrogate. I’m a little unsure about the group, but it seems that we may all be able to work together for now. I don’t trust that teabagger though.

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Onion Bag
One beer, two beers, ten beers, floor

While collecting a bounty in Kurmosti I was able to find out some information on Zucco. My source said he has been spotted around the Trueheart Mines. As I made my way west across Silvanesti I stopped for the night in the small village of Pashin.

After grabbing some food I was heading through the center of town when I saw a couple Dark Knights harassing two Kenders. I wanted to stay out of it but it looked like they were going to be injured. I threw one of my daggers at the Knight hoping to hit his arm and stop him. If I didn’t have that 4th mug of ale with my meal it might have worked. Instead it landed right in the bastards back.

A halfling tried to finish the job but missed. Then, of all things a dwarf stepped in to finish the job. Before I know what happened the Kenders lead us all down the alley and into the basement of the inn.

Over a beer we discussed the resistance and this little group of ours agreed to help the people of Pashin get the Dark Knights to leave. Then, the FUCKING dwarf tries to take my beer! Is he out of his mind? This is why I tell people, dwarfs are only good for tossing. I figured it wouldn’t be a good idea to pop this little bastard in the mouth at that particular moment so I pretended it was all in good fun.

As a group we decided to rest a bit before heading out to do some recon. I grabbed one last pint and headed upstairs to my room. I passed the dwarfs room and I could see that he was fast asleep. I snuck into his room and dropped my ballbag right into his open mouth. As I tried to sneak away that last pint came back to bite me in the ass.

The dwarf wakes up, I’m standing there with my pants around my ankles. The dwarf put 2 and 2 together and comes after me. I kept him at an arms length…literally palming his dumb face so he couldn’t hit me with those stubby limbs of his. I was able to talk him down, convince him it was just a joke. I woke up a couple hours later.

Fucking Dwarf!

This isn’t over.
~ G

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